


Briktor

by cutthroatpixie, youaremarvelous



Series: Kenzie and Katy’s Drunken Feast of Words [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/F, Gen, It's Britney Bitch, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 02:05:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13424415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutthroatpixie/pseuds/cutthroatpixie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/youaremarvelous/pseuds/youaremarvelous
Summary: Britney and Viktor want to Freaky Friday their lives. Unfortunately, that shit is not as easy as the Lindsey Lohan movie made it out to be. Homophobic tbqh. But it's okay, because Viktor and Britney are so smart and so hot. So it don't really matter none. So read it! Guaranteed to enjoy.





	Briktor

**Author's Note:**

> rip mckenzie for the wine blown out her nostrils. that shit burns, y'all. leave her comments. she p much died, she needs love to resurrect.she's p much like tinkerbell ty ty we know this fic is some dank ass shit. ENJOY

“Sean Federline Perstine”

 

“What?” asked Yuuri.

 

“That’s Britney’s son’s name! We need to know, or else Britney will kick us out of his party!” said Viktor.

 

“Okay...it’s kind of weird you didn’t already know, since she’s your idol and all.” Said Yuuri, sitting back in his first class plush ass airplane seat. 

 

“Yeah, well,” said Viktor. Not really explaining anything.

 

When they arrived at the airport in California, USA, after a super smooth landing because the pilot was great and not a bumpy ass bitch, Britney was waiting for them.

 

“OMG,” said Viktor. “That’s Britney.”

 

“I know,” Yuuri told him. “I’ve seen her before.”

 

“Hi,” Britney said to them. She had a sign that said “Viktor and Yuuri” because she wanted to make sure that they could find her. She was really cool and thoughtful. 

 

Viktor said, “OMG,” again because he was really excited. Yall. “Yuuri. Me and Britney are just like twins.”

 

Britney and Viktor were not twins. Britney had brown eyes and Viktor had blue eyes.

 

“We really are,” Britney said because she was a sweet and agreeable woman and also super beautiful and so was Viktor. 

 

Yuuri was like, “omg this positivity is making me so  happy!!!!” Blue and brown eyes are BOTH so damn beautiful. “I’d hardly be able to tell between the two of you if not for your eyes...and tbh also your personalities. Although they are both SO beautiful. What if you like freaky Fridayed this shit and traded places for a while.”

 

Viktor was super into this idea because even tho he’s like a bomb ass skater, he always lowkey wanted to know what it’d be like to be a pop star. “Hey Britney, let’s both think real hard and see if we can trade bodies.”

 

Britney was like, “okay, y’all. That sounds fun.”

 

So they both started singing Stronger at the same time. They both envisioned lightning bolts and similar strong imagery. Unfortunately, this did NOT work. Lame. 

 

“Well that’s okay.” said Britney. “You don’t look like me. But maybe with a wig….”

 

And Viktor was like “BITCH oh shit I got a oops I did it again costume and I packed that shit in my luggage. Let’s switch lives for a while. Whatchu think?”

 

Britney was fuckin down as shit for switching lives even though the magical power of Stronger did not work as planned this time. “I also have a wig just like your hair in my purse. So this is perfect yall.”

 

Viktor was so excited that THE Britney “Britney Bitch” Spears had a wig of his hair because he had always idolised her and it was super cool that she also liked him. “That’s legit, Britney,” Yuuri told her. He was so supportive of this life switching because he knew it was always Viktor’s dream to live the Britney life and he was happy that his husband could live his dream.

 

Viktor went into a bathroom stall and real quick changed into his Oops I Did it Again! costume. “I’m Britney, bitch,” he said to the next person that he saw, which was some dude in the bathroom just tryna pee. 

 

“That’s cool, dude,” said the guy. Because he was a chill dude.

 

When Viktor came out of the bathroom, Britney and Yuuri were there. Or was it Viktor that was actually there?!?!?! Because looking right at him (Viktor dressed as Britney) was a total duplicate of himself.

 

“Are you sure we’re not twins?” Viktor asked.

 

“I don’t think we are,” said Britney. “But that’s a really good costume you have. It’s probably better than my actual one that I had.”

 

“It is,” Viktor told her. “I know that for a fact.”

 

“I’m glad you’re so confident.” Britney really was glad because she is a great person. 

 

For the record, Google is homophobic. But moving on, the real challenge was in fooling Britney’s managers. Not her sons, since Yuuri was doing a fucking dank ass gaming marathon with them. (He is the most supportive husband. For reals).

 

But the thing is, Viktor couldn’t hold a note to save his life! Also, he did not want to change out of his sexy ass shiny ass red bodysuit. It was iconic so it was preeeetty crazy for them to try to convince him otherwise.

 

But anyway, Viktor is smart, so he was like, “hey, let’s do my old songs but in like beat poetry. Y’know. Cause they’re like deep fucking ass lyrics??? And I don’t think people have really appreciated that?”

 

His managers were like “hoooooly shit.”

 

“Britney. You are legit. Genius. And this is why we work for you.”

 

Viktor (as Britney) swooshed his majestic ass Britney blonde wig. “Bitch, I know. You ain’t telling me shit I don’t know.”

 

He was so confident as Britney. It was so good for his self-esteem. Meanwhile, Britney was injescting some sweet fuckin ass chair ass hip hop moves into the skating world. Bitch couldn’t stay standing upright for more than like,,,10 seconds. BUT those ten seconds. Holy shit dude. They were magic.

 

Yakov went home every night like, ‘how do I even critique that??? That shit is like so enlightened and so woke. I’m shook.’

 

Britney was doing so much for Russia. “You don’t even know what woke means,” Yurio told Yakov. Yurio was a basic bitch. Britney (as Viktor) told him this.

 

“You’re being a basic bitch, Yurio. It’s not cool at all.”

 

Mila cheered. Somebody needed to tell Yurio the cold, hard truth. Is this narration? Are people actually talking? Find out on the 10 o’clock news. Duh bitch.

 

“Thank you for cheering, Mila. That is super cool of you.” Britney (as Viktor) loved how Mila was always there for her. She was a great fucking friend. And maybe more later when she realised how awesome the taco is. Sara would be so fucking down for a threesome with Britney fucking Spears.

 

(Mila totally knew it was Britney, bitch, even though nobody else did because Britney’s costume was flawless but Mila knew Viktor’s soul and also Britney’s soul and they were different souls so she knew that they were different people. Such a deep bitch.)

 

I am so woke. But anyway, that’s not important. Also, the correct way to spell important is NOT FUCKING IMPORTANT. WAKE UP BITCHES. WHO CARES ABOUT SPELLING. THIS IS TRUE ASS LOVE AND SELF ACCEPTANCE WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HERE. 

 

So anyway. Shit was going like super fucking good for Britney AND Viktor. They were like, damn it sucks we couldn’t freaky Friday this shit cause we’re so fucking good at roleplay???? Like Britney had never known love like Mila and Sara (the taco is so good. Never forget that shit). And also Yuuri and Viktor had found so much meaning being fathers do Preston and not Presont.

 

(maybe Jayden, who knows)

 

Anyway, Yuuri decided to be Viktor’s back up dancer to all his woke ass s(that is an s, hell yeah bitches)poken beat poetry. 

 

Hello re ou here>

 

ar e you here>

 

Okay good. So anyway, Yuuri and Viktor had really discovered a new awesome facet of life, gaming with Britney’s sons and also creating sweet music videos (that heavily referenced Titanic cause holy shit have you even SEEN that movie????)

 

They cry every tim.

 

And one night Yuuri was like, “Viktor...I love you so fucking much, Are we like doing this forever or???”

 

And Viktor was like, “dude ikr??? This is good. Maybe Britney is getting enough fulfillment in Russia (even though she can’t land those sweet sweet jumps) and she’ll let us adopt her sons. (and songs)”

 

When Viktor (as Britney) asked Britney (as Viktor) if he could adopt her songs and sons, she was like, “Uh, no bitch. But we can totally freaky Friday for a few weeks a year if you want because this is dope as shit. But also like I can’t land any of these jumps and you can’t sing, so we should do our own day jobs most of the time and my kids totally know that you’re not me. So.”

 

Preston and Jayden??? (not Preston) had totally texted Britney (as Viktor) and were like, “lol mom our two new dads are hilarious and also great at video game and slam poetry and making dinner.”

 

“Hell yeah,” Yuuri said, in response to all those sweet ass compliments. He could make some dank ass dinner and he knew it.

 

“This sounds good to me,” Viktor (as Britney) told Britney (as Viktor). He swished his long hair (as Britney) and Britney could totally hear it over the phone because it was a great hair swish.

 

“That was a great hair swish,” Britney told him. “You’ve learned so much.”

 

“You’ve learned so much too,” Viktor said to her. “Mila has been snapping me everything.”

 

“I hope not everything?” Britney questioned.

 

“It wasn’t everything because Mila is respectful as shit. But it was enough.”

 

“That’s cool yall.” Britney was totally cool with that because she knew that Viktor was like one of Mila’s best friends and he was also a celebrity so he knew how to keep shit private. Duh bitch.

 

So anyway, like every once in a while after that Britney and Viktor would trade placed. The paparazzi was kinda like??? Damn Brit you grew a few couple inches over night, but also they were supes dumb so whatever. They didn’t notice that shit.

 

Preston and Pretson (or maybe Jayden, who fucking knows) enjoyed having 3 parents. Even if two weren’t related because THEY WERE GEN Z AND FUCKIN PROGRESSIVE Y’ALL.

 

Why have BRitney as a mother if you ain’t gonna be WOKE as hell.

 

So anyway, they were super rounded with their Mom and two other dudes as Moms (whatevs) and also Mila and Sara as Moms who would fuck their Moms some times. They didn’t know it was going on, they just knew they had a hella load of Moms. 

 

And because of that, they grew up to be SO respectful of Women. They were like the new fucking generation. Preston and (not) Pretson were the best boys. 

 

Don’t worry y’all. We know their names. We’re just foolin with ya. (also we’re protecting the identities of everyone involved. Caause we’re woke ass  bitches. Just like Britney,)

 

“Thanks for bringing Britney to Russia,” Mila said to Viktor (as Viktor) when he returned and was himself. She was super greatful. I don’t know how to spell grateful because I’m not a grateful person. “You’re such a good friend.”

 

Viktor was just so glad that this story got told because Katy didn’t know how to look out of both eyes at once it was too hard. At least one of her eyes was woke af. Bitch.

 

“Np,” Viktor told Mila. He was super excited that he could help his bffsy have a sweet ass threesome with Britney Spears.

 

Anyway. Everyone had a great ass time and was super happy. Britney never really learned how to figure skate and Viktor never learned how to sing but they were happy and if anyone ever figured out they were swapping they were totally in on the shenanigans so they said nothing.


End file.
